Before the pandemic, I was practicing at a Yoga studio, often going most days. It was lovely to see everyone, I was inspired by the teachings and it was a beautiful space to be in. I also got into a routine with it and would choose my classes according to my availability and the teacher I wanted to go to.
Then, after the pandemic started, I started using online teaching. This opened up the world of Yoga to me literally. It meant I could choose from all kinds of new teachers and styles and I could pick whatever time suited me. Since I am practicing Ayurveda, I practice in the very early hours of the morning, before the time that the studios were open before. This was great initially.
Until the decision fatigue set in. I got to the point where I was spending way too much time deciding which Yoga class to do. There were so many to choose from. I also didn’t like that I was spending so much time in front of the screen as it was, since my work is online and I was already sitting at a computer all day. I was feeling that this making me feel toxic in the head and also I was not getting all of the benefits from Yoga. Something was missing. The healing and mindfulness aspects felt watered down somehow. Although it was nice to have these online teachers in my home, somehow I was not going within as much because my focus was too external.
I decided to see the pandemic time as a gift because it was giving me precious space and time to really develop and ground my home practice.
Here is what happened:
I got a deck of Yoga cards and started picking different postures to practice every week. Any postures that I’m not sure about, I watch a workshop video or refer to books to get clear. I’m trusting my ability to learn how to pick the postures and sequence them well for what I need.
I also pick a mudra card and am learning more mudras and practicing them each week.
I got a feet up trainer (my training wheels) and started using this to learn inversions and other poses
I started holding my postures for longer and really focusing on my breathing and being aware of what was in each moment. Not always comfortable or easy and I am not saying that I have mastered this, but I’m working on it. Patterns arise as I hold the poses longer and I’m learning to witness the patterns and remember that I am not my thoughts and feelings, they are something that are passing through me. This is something I have to teach myself.
I’m learning to work on the pose and then pause and let the pose work on me.
I’ve created my on intention or prayer that I now say every time I come to the mat:
May I have balance & equanimity
May I have space in my heart & maitri (loving kindness)
May I take pause & have composure
I’m spending more time doing Yoga and less time making decisions about doing Yoga or travelling to class.
I’m spending more time in self-observation and awareness of what is, and less on looking for the answers from other people. Yes, it’s uncomfortable when things come up that I don’t like, but I’m learning how to witness them without judgement. This creates space and choice. Learning to welcome any observations with love and without banishing anything from the mat is a challenge for sure. But, that in itself is an observation and part of my inner quest. This is Yoga.
Through this process, I’m finding my own voice.
I’m spending less time trying to create understanding and meaning and more time just observing with equanimity.
I’ve deepened my pranayama and meditation practices.
My flexibility, strength and balance have improved.
I can do a headstand, twisted monkey, crow and other poses I never thought I would be able to do.
And so continues the learning journey with Yoga, it is so much more than just showing up for an exercise class. It will be interesting to see how things will change and evolve in the Yoga world after the pandemic is over…. If you need help getting into a Yoga practice routine, give me a shout. I have some tips and tricks to help you get started and to strengthen your resolve and help you establish your habits.