When I first started learning about Ayurveda, my relationship with food took a turn for the worse. I felt exasperated when the old neurotic internal dialogue returned. The constant battle that I thought I had left behind was once again a daily thing. I started struggling with my food and weight again. I began a whole new chapter of rule-making and rule-breaking, this time Ayurvedic style.
There were a several reasons for this. I had a few different teachers, each claiming to have precise information from the vedas. They each shared the rules for eating that they regarded as sacred. They did not always agree with each other though. Nor did they all agree with my own experiences of what made me feel well. So this set up conflict number one.
Number two, I was being more than a little hard on myself. I was trying to eat for my dosha, learn all the rules and make huge changes all at the same time. I had a lot of resistance to the changes that I thought I had to make. My head hurt from the shed loads of new information. I was trying to do too much at once
Number three, I was trying to learn it all in my head. I was not allowing my body to have a say in the process.
It turns out, having a happy, healthy relationship with food comes through self-trust. Who knew?
Here are the top ten things that I've learned:
1. To trust the intelligence of my own tongue and my own experiences with food.
2. To awaken to the trust of my own body rather than making and breaking rules.
3. Learning that the more I trust, the more I settle and get out of my head and into my body. When this happens, the big angst about decision-making disappears and I am at ease.
4. When I relax into the eating experience, I am open to what is rather than obsessing about how things should be.
5. I enjoy shopping, cooking and eating when I'm not tense and analytical about it.
6. I'm learning to make food choices with my belly, body and heart. I'm on a journey to find out what tastes nourish me, what makes me feel satisfied and works for my health.
7. There is no one size fits all. We all come from different backgrounds, cultures and experiences. We all have different digestive stories and live in different climates. Ayurveda is all over the world now, and the world is a different place. I can stick to the natural laws that never change, the universal laws and let go of the details of the day.
8. It's all a process. The food neuroses that I let go of today may surface again next week or next year. This gives me an opportunity to deepen my relationship with the world around me and what I take in and become. My choices keep getting smarter now.
9. I choose steady nourishing practices that are good for me and good for nature. Quick fixes are not a thing. When I need to make a change, I start with one tiny thing that will make a difference.
10. I am not trying to eat for my dosha. Instead, I try to calm vata so that it feels safe and grounded. Once vata is calm, pitta gets permission to make a plan of action. My choices are kind and loving, so kapha feels nurtured and is not looking for so many sweet treats.